to grow up fatherless :(

Jesus, being the great story teller that he is, relies on a variety of images to convey the novelty of His message. He talks, for example, of builders. He talks of fisherman. He talks of fish, of farmers, and today we hear another story: The parable of the sower.

Seeds

For those of you who’ve worked the land, you know what a marvelous thing a seed is: a self-contained little eco-system that holds the promise of life. It holds the promise of a future, the promise of food, the promise of nourishing a family.

The Global Seed Vault, in Norway, houses and protects more than one million varieties of seeds. In the occasion of a genetic mutation, or even a global catastrophe, we would rely on those seeds that have been protected in order that we may regrow crops. Some have even said that we could use those seeds to colonize another planet.

Setting interplanetary crops aside, the seed is seen as a sign of hope, a sign of a future, of a promise. But it’s not really the seed in and of itself, is it? It’s really what the seed has a capacity for becoming. Life, and the promise of life, is all around us, and it has its ultimate origin in God, the Father of Life. Saint Paul says that “neither the one who plants, nor the one who waters it is anything, but only God who gives growth” (1 Cor 3:17).

• Google+
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Facebook

Call to give the seed of life

It pertains to the vocation of a mother to foster and nurture life, to nourish it and help it grow; but it pertains to the vocation of a father to give life, to give the seed of life. The very word for seed in Latin is semina. Unfortunately, there’s a modern notion of a Fatherhood that has been caricatured, ridiculed to the point of a Homer Simpson of a family man. It’s quite common to see in the media family men portrayed as immature, insecure, goofy, and childish—more as a man-child than a family man. Think about it, when was the last time you saw, in a movie or in a tv-series, a father portrayed as a strong, protective, nourishing, and emotionally mature man?

Of course, the vocation of being a father is not just about giving life, it’s also about taking responsibility for it: defending life and nourishing it, not only by our presence, but by personal, emotional, and spiritual engagement. What an incredible vocation it is to give life, but especially to take responsibility for it. Isn’t that what the first reading is about? “I will tear off a tender shoot from the crest of a cedar. I will plant it on high on a lofty mountain.” The Heavenly Father says he will nourish it and make it grow, protect it and have it give shade to all birds of the sky.

So we celebrate firstly the Father who gives us all life and also all fathers both biological and adoptive. Let’s reflect more on what it means to be a father.

One out of every four children grow up in fatherless homes in the US. The effect of absent fathers in children and society in general has been studied in depth; following are only some studies.

Children who grow up in fatherless homes are:

• 4 times more likely to grow up poor—NPR
• 5 times more likely to commit suicide—U.S. Dept. Of Health/Census
• 32 times more likely to run away
• 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders— Center for Disease Control
• 14 times more likely to commit rape— Justice and Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26
• 9 times more likely to drop out of high school— National Principals Association Report.
• 10 times more prone to chemical abuse— Rainbows for All God’s Children.
• In the case of girls, 92% more likely to divorce.

I had the opportunity of serving in jail ministry for a year and I can personally say that the following two are spot-on.

• 9 times more likely to be in state-operated institutions— U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988.
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison—Fulton Co. Dept. of Correction, Texas Dept. Co. 1992.

It’s astonishing to see that, if we want to diminish poverty and mental illness in our country, then you have to look at the family; you have to look at the awesome vocation that some men have received not only to give life but also to take responsibility for it. And it can be quite a challenge. You yourself, perhaps, grew up in a fatherless home. Maybe you were a witness to the weaknesses, frailty, and shortcomings of your own father. But you yourself can also decide to be more present to those souls that God has entrusted you with.

• Google+
• Twitter
• Pinterest
• Facebook

Fatherhood is a marvelous, beautiful vocation that has been taking blows in our society, and probably even in the Church. Maybe as priests we have also fallen short of taking responsibility for the salvation of those souls entrusted to our care. Some probably haven’t preached the Message as boldly and have watered it down in the effort to make it more palatable and acceptable. Or perhaps the weakness of a priest has shone forth, and the faith of some in the Father in heaven has been shaken.

Life from the Father

Fathers, we derive our vocation from the Heavenly Father. To be a father is to take responsibility of your family, of those souls, of their spiritual and emotional development; to take responsibility of your local community; to take responsibility of your country; to take responsibility of your church. The next series of numbers is what fathers, who are striving to live their vocation to fatherhood, say about their calling:

• 91% of dads say being a parent is their greatest joy.
• 85% of dads say being a father is the best job in the world.
• 73% of dads say their lives began when they became a dad.

When comparing their own parenting experience with their parents’ behavior, this is what dads had to say:

• 52% of dads indicated showing more affection than they received from their parents.
• 47% of dads participate in more play time and quality time than their parents.
• 46% of dads read more to their children than their parents did.
• 54% of dads say “I love you” more to their children than their parents did.

By being better sons to the Father we can become better fathers ourselves. It is in Him that we find the wisdom to form and the strength to protect. May our Heavenly Father guide us to reflect on this vocation that some of you have received, either by ways of biological fatherhood, adoptive fatherhood, or spiritual fatherhood. May he strengthen our commitment to the souls he has entrusted us with. That through the intercession of Saint Joseph we may develop this vocation of giving life and taking active responsibility for it.

P.S. On a personal note, I had the joy of seeing an excellent movie that depicts fatherhood with a fresh, new light. Though marketed as a horror movie, A Quiet Place, portrays a strong father, engaged emotionally with his children and his wife. If you’ve seen the movie, I would love to hear your thoughts on it!

Check out this infographic on some of the numbers.

This post is also available in: Spanish